


Red apples, Red lips

by TotemundTabu



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 15:07:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5132051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TotemundTabu/pseuds/TotemundTabu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>THROBB | DRAGQUEEN!THEON AU | “What was that?” “A Drag Queen show, Robb, that thing you said was “feeding a novice stereotype of gay people being feminine” for which you would have “never put a foot in a gay club”, that and bad remixes of already bad pop songs.” Right, right, that’s what he always thought... then what the hell just happened under his equatorial zone?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red apples, Red lips

Freely inspired by a remix of Swift's “Blank space”, memories of gay clubs, an IRL thing that happened to a friend, and of the gorgeous Lalla Bittch <3 DragQueen!Theon was a moral necessity and a self-indulgent present and my gf wanted it longer so I added a part... 

* * *

 

**Red apples, Red lips**

* * *

 

He had obviously heard about Theon.

Who hadn’t?

He didn't know his name, not his complete name anyway, but the rumour had it “Theon” - even admitted that was his real name - was the ultimate experience for whoever visited the Lost Time. Eyes like dirty ice, a tongue scorching like fire, a talent in love making which nobody would have denied, even if clearly more derived from uncountable experiences than from a natural gift. 

What people said about Theon was of mixed nature: some loved him for being their best fuck, most loathed him for his “one night stand means one night” policy, which forbid second chances and despised any bond no matter how casual.

Other civil wars concerning Theon included whether the Chandelier number swinging in a glittery skin-tight outfit did, in fact, outdo the champagne cup one in honour of Beyoncé or not.

So when the DJ announced it was Theon’s time on stage and Jon groaned loudly, Robb didn't have to ask who they were speaking about.

Sam laughed, ruffling his boyfriend's hair, “C'mon, resist it.”

“I'm just sorry that for his first time in a gay club, Robb will have to endure that.”

“Sure...” Sam murmured patronizingly.

Robb raised an eyebrow, perplexed: Jon was not always... enthusiastic about stuff, sure, there was a reason if Sansa's last birthday gift to him was a grumpy cat shirt, but he rarely hated something deeply enough to let out such a disgusted face.

“I'll get drinks. - he commented – I don't feel like sitting at the table waiting for his majesty to honour us with his butt-shaking number.”

Sam smiled, patiently, “Okay, babe... me and your brother will suffer for you too.”

“What's the big deal?” Robb asked.

Sam mouthed, “Not sure I want to know.”

When the music started, a couple of white spotlights shone over the half-moon stage, Robb's curiosity was already on fire. People around them didn't stop dancing for the whole two hours they were there, but, all of a sudden, they seemed to care about what was going to be there, as if the waiting paralyzed them.

The first thing they saw was a man in skin-tight black shorts, high waisted daisy-dukes that showed a good portion of the most gorgeous butt Robb ever landed his eyes on. Over it a feminine half-transparent white blouse, going for a horsewoman from some centuries before stereotype, as the whip in his hands confirmed. 

When he turned, Robb was sure all blood left his face and chest to rush to his lower regions like a waterfall.

His jaw must have dropped because he felt Sam's hand pushing it up again.

He never really felt like drag queens were his thing. He liked to think, “Well, I'm gay, so I like men” and, to be honest, Jon had to labour to get him to even go in a gay club, because he found it a bit too extravagant, but damn what he had in front of him changed his mind in a second.

High, strong cheekbones, sharp as a razor, eyes so deep he felt he could drown, but behind the make-up he could still see a handsome man. He was wearing a blonde wig and his lips had the reddest red lipstick he ever saw and looked perfect and full and his thoughts went fittingly impure.

He walked confidently on high wheels that made his legs look even longer.

His grin gave Robb shivers through his spine, like electricity.

He had heard the song before, but he never gave it particular attention, it never really seemed inviting or sexy to him, for the matter, it was more boring, but having that man dancing to it, moving fluidly and sensually, made Robb feel like, hell yeah, that was the sexiest song he had ever heard.

Theon, though, seemed to have noticed him too.

Well, didn't mean anything, he knew that sometimes dancers picked a specific boy and come to dance close to them, but it didn't mean they liked you or any of that sort, but it was very hard to hold a rational view on it, as the man was crouching on his table, keeping his legs spread open – fuck those skinny daisy dukes, a bit tighter and he could have told if he was circumcised – a few centimetres from his face and staring at his eyes directly. Blinding as the sun.

Robb felt a weird tight sensation on the stomach.

Theon mouthed slowly, “ Ain't it funny, rumours fly, and I know you heard about me. So hey, let's be friends...”

Robb swallowed, a gulping hoarse sound emerging from his throat, dark and dense enough for Theon to smirk wider, passing his tongue on the razor-y edge of his white teeth.

He stood up and returned to dance, unmistakably sending glanced at Robb, even carelessly of the other who came to see him, first of all, the never-so-annoyed before Ramsay. 

Robb knew that guy since elementary school, he was the son of a colleague of his father, and, despite not knowing his sexual preferences, he had some guesses they were not the most common, which made it always a bit awkward to share more than a meal a month, especially since the guy seemed to always find a creepy pleasure in killing their lunch himself. Seeing him watching a human being sexually was, for the most part, already disturbing, but Robb found himself even possessive, subtly angry.

“Got a long list of ex-lovers: they'll tell you I'm insane, 'cause, you know, I love the players... and you love the game.”

Oh damn, yes.

There was a very, very restricted number of games he wouldn't have loved between those legs or those lips. He couldn't stop staring, magnetized, at Theon's assets.

Those hips jerked wildly, his tongue licked the fingers, but the lipstick was still on: redder than blood, as a warning or a mirage.

“Didn't he finish yet?” Jon mumbled, returning with three drinks in his hands.

Sam took his appletini and commented, “Your bother seems to actually appreciate the show.”

Jon gave a disgusted snort, “He always had questionable taste.”

As Theon jerked his whip a couple of times, they both noticed Robb clenching his fists and jaw and moving his hips slightly. Sam furrowed his eyebrows, finding it quite interesting: Robb always looked more like the regular guy who likes the sweet boy next door but he was cultivating a boner for a half-naked siren.

Someone from behind the stage, threw a red apple at Theon, who caught it smoothly, passed lustfully his tongue on a small portion of it and then bit a piece off of it, voraciously, brutally.

“Boys only want love if it's torture. Don't say I didn't say, I didn't warn you...”

Jon sighed, annoyed, “He is not even that pretty!”

“Baby boo, he kinda is...” Sam muttered, patting his shoulder, leaving him extremely offended.

Robb, in the meantime, lost probably every chance of his soul passing the gates of paradise with the flashes of fantasies he had observing Theon's stomach flexing and arching, imitating a sexual ride, while he stared, blatantly, at him.

Theon grinned; satisfied of the effect he was having and threw Robb his apple. The Stark half fell on the table to get it, but he did, and stared at it, blankly, confused, while Ramsay gave him a cold, harsh, look.

“Do you think we will manage to get him back or he is like perpetually lobotomized?”

Sam laughed tenderly. He would have reminded Jon of how bad he liked Ygritte just two years before, but he knew his boyfriend would have got embarrassed and maybe interpret it as a jealousy wave, so he shut up.

“Ah... - Robb let out a guttural sound, while Theon left the stage and, slowly, people returned to dance – Ah... I...”

“Do you need the bathroom?”

Robb's cheeks started to resemble the colour of his hair.

“What was that?”

“A Drag Queen show, Robb, that thing you said was “feeding a novice stereotype of gay people being feminine” for which you would have “never put a foot in a gay club”, that and bad remixes of already bad pop songs.”

Right, right, that’s what he always thought... then what the hell just happened under his equatorial zone?

“Stark.”

He turned and met the always sly, always smiling like a serial killer, Ramsay. God, he was the only kid happy to dissect live worms and frogs at school and somehow nor Robb nor Jon could overlook that memory.

“Nice to see you here. - he continued, his pointy teeth shining under the magenta spotlight – Enjoyed the show?”

“As everyone else, I suppose.”

“Well, you're a lucky man. - Ramsay snickered, but Jon had the strong sensation he was about to break his brothers' neck – Looks like he picked you for the dressing room tonight.”

Robb blinked, then stared at the apple. Oh.

A stupid smile widened on his face.

Ramsay twitched, “But, you know, I am not sure if you would appreciate it, after all, he doesn't look like your type, so... would you mind handing me the pass?” he smirked.

Robb stiffed, “I'd rather not. I am... very fond of experiencing new things.”

“...for how unhygienic they might be.” Jon whispered, getting Sam's elbows in his stomach.

“If you wish so...” Ramsay smiled, a blue gleam in his eyes.

“Sure I do.”

“But wouldn't it be a shame if your father got to know you were here in the first place? - he grinned – I am sure the big Stark man doesn't know about his beloved first son's personal tastes, does he?”

Robb hesitated at the idea, holding the apple strongly between his fingers. But it was true: his father didn't know and he had no intention to start telling the topic any soon, especially after some comments that, for how not hateful, sure sounded harsh at the last Christmas about Jon. Even if he knew his father wouldn't have hated him, he knew he would have been disappointed in some traditional man way...

He handed the apple to Ramsay, making him grin victoriously.

“I'll say hello for you too, Stark.”

As he left, Robb seemed to get deflated and defeated. He sighed, half-angry and Jon turned towards him, but Sam interrupted him before he spoke.

“Maybe you should go there too?”

“It's fine, I mean... it was just... - he swallowed – I wouldn't have wanted just sex, anyway, right?”

Jon nodded to himself.

“That's a shame.”

Robb turned, mouth agape, and Sam started to pull Jon away with him, making excuses about a sudden wish to dance. In front of them stayed Theon – now instead of the blond wig he had light but more amber brown hair, he was not wearing lipstick anymore and, instead of the horsewoman outfit, he was wearing long black skinny jeans and a red palette tank top opened at the sides and so thin that Robb could still clearly see the aura of his nipples. He was also wearing some earrings and a black chocker and Robb discovered a new, fucked up, fantasy that night which he didn't imagine he had.

He gulped, slowly, “Ah... I, umh...”

“Articulate. - he smirked, flirty, sitting – I see you know my dearest fan. - he commented on Jon, who sticked his tongue out while disappearing with Sam – Or, better, both of them.”

“Oh, I, I'm sorry for the-”

“It's okay. - he winked – I mean, it's not flattering the idea of not being absolutely impossible to refuse, but if there is something I can forgive it for it’s the threat of outing. - he smiled, with a sad shadow on his face that made him look almost tender – Also, Ramsay can be way more convincing, I am kind of glad you didn't have to discover his other ways.”

“How did you...?”

“I preferred to come find you, I waited longer than usual and I decided you were a shy one. - he smirked and passed a tongue on his lips, slowly – On which, I think I was right.”

Robb smiled awkwardly, trying to cool down. He couldn't stop looking at Theon's neck, his jaw, the way his shoulders seemed so skinny and yet so firm... Theon's skin was slightly olive and under the pink lights he looked almost like a gem. His eyes were shining bright.

“What are you drinking?”

“Ah, a beer.”

Theon laughed a bit, as if he found him terribly cute, “I could have bet on it.”

“Umh, can I ask what happened with...”

“Your friend?”

“My brother.”

“You don't resemble each other at all... - he mumbled – Well, I knew Jon when he had the epiphany about his sexuality, but nothing happened and I think he resents me a bit for it. I mean, being refused by an obscene slut must feel a bit like a blow in the pride.”

“You shouldn't speak about yourself in those terms.” Robb mumbled, strict and firm.

Theon smiled, “It's okay. I prefer to say it myself.”

“You shouldn't anyway...”

Theon quickly changed the topic, “So, how do you feel about the show? Did you like it?”

“Ah, umh, very... expressive.”

“That's new. Usually they say something like boner-granted-material or perfect-warm-up-porn.”

Robb coughed and scratched his nape, while Theon bit his bottom lip, eager.

“You are new, aren't you?”

“First time in a gay club, yes.” he admitted, sipping his tuborg.

“You look so tender I could eat you up.”

Robb coughed and almost snorted all of which he was drinking. Theon laughed and pulled him from the shirt collar, kissing him suddenly.

Robb tasted bitter because of the beer, but Theon's tongue was sweet, warm, and invaded him abruptly and intensely. He pulled him closer by his curls, forcing Robb into a deeper kiss, filling his mouth with all of his tongue. 

At first, the red-head was stiff, but then relaxed his jaw and started replying to the kiss, putting his hand on Theon's back and keeping him close. Theon smiled into the kiss.

He had a nice scent: bleu de Chanel, salty sweat and red apples.

Robb got a strong, overwhelming instinct of biting him, feeling the taste of Theon's skin and flesh. As he bit the man's lip, he felt Theon's grey icy eyes burning on him with desire.

He smirked.

“Shy boys really are the hottest, if you let them warm up.”

Robb felt a flush of warmth through his face. He stuttered something and then buried the embarrassment in a confused blurt, “C-Can I ask something?”

Theon blinked and nodded.

“Do you ever do... exceptions to the rules?”

“Exceptions like unprotected sex or exceptions like... more than one night?”

“More than many nights possibly.” he admitted, shyly, with a wide smile on his lips.

“So... you are not into casual sex?”

“Not really... - Robb admitted – But I kind of don’t want to give you up.”

“So, what do you propose?”

“Let's dance. - Robb tensed his hand to Theon, then smiled, proud and confident again – At the end of it, for sure, one of us will change his mind about what they are willing to do.”

And Theon smiled, sucked his lips and thought that, yes, for a man like that he could have even fallen in love.

“I'm dying to see how this one ends.” he whispered, sensually.

Robb pulled Theon's hand and led him on the dance floor. He was sure music was pumping around them, loud and strong, but he couldn't hear it – the world around him seemed to have fallen silent and mute, to have disappeared and left no trace. 

Theon was moving next to him, being as indecent as he could, grin rising from his full lips, hands running on Robb's back and hips. He was a firework and Robb was sure he was setting his skin on fire.

He was obscene, lewd, and yet he had that look, shielded, of protection, who told of winters without warmth.

And Robb was a sucker for that.

Having Theon's warm body rubbing on him, his hips courting his crotch, his hands caressing his stomach, while his eyes were nailed on his own, in a beautiful charm. He was a trap, a beautiful, fatal trap.

And he fell into it, deeply and without regrets.

He held Theon's waist and pulled him closer, replying to that look with a convinced, strong one. 

Theon smirked: shy boy could get intense, then?

He passed his hand through Robb's auburn curls, burning purple under the blue lights. His glance fell on Robb's lips, as a mute invitation, as an eager guess.

Stark's fingers ran on Theon's cheek, stopped on his jaw and brought him close- Theon caught Robb's mouth in his own. He started pulling his bottom lip slowly, tasting the soft flesh under his teeth and torturing his delicious tenderness, Robb moved his tongue, filling Theon's mouth to the brink and making him roll his eyes to the ceiling at the sensation. Robb felt huge against his palate, swollen and strong and Theon couldn't hide how much he hoped for it to be a delicious foreshadowing.

Jon coughed loudly.

With an exasperated sigh, Theon opened his eyes and Robb interrupted his kiss.

“You two might want to go away. The Bolton kid is pissed.”

“I'm not going away. - Robb stated, sure – I am not one to get so scared of...”

“No offence. - Theon interrupted – But for how the manly knight turns me on, I'd rather not have Ramsay spoiling my evening, so... can we follow grumpy cat's advice?”

Jon turned to Robb, offended, “You told him?”

“I didn't. - Robb granted, then smiling – He just... I'm sorry, I mean, Sansa and him are quite right about that.”

“Just... go. Me and Sam will think of something, I mean, Sam will.”

“Thank you.” Robb mouthed, running with Theon out of the club and smiling as the fresh air that hit them both in the face. The chilly breeze of the autumn night embraced them.

Theon panted for the quick rush and Robb smiled at the sight.

He was so cute when he laughed, breath skipping and all his white teeth shone under the moonlight.

Everything sounded a bit distant without the music, and dark, but none less beautiful. It was like they got immerged in some sort of silky curtain that shielded them from the artificial lights and sounds. They were alone, completely.

“Are you cold? Do you want a jacket?”

“Don't do the old Hollywood things or I might fall for you. - he winked – So, wolf boy, what's your name?”

“Wolf boy?”

“You seemed pretty hungry in my mouth.” he mocked, licking his teeth.

Robb stiffed and coughed, embarrassed, yet thrilled.

“Robb... and yours is really...”

“Theon. - he chirped, flirty – Yes, it is. Theon Greyjoy.”

“Greyjoy like...”

“Greyjoy like the nationalistic and very traditionalist politician they make memes about, yes. - he smiled – His son is gay and his daughter a lesbian. Well, she is not out yet, just as you. - his eyes shone – She is afraid to disappoint him too.. one coming out seemed enough.”

He smiled sweetly and Robb felt a tight grip in his heart.

“Why did you come out to him?”

“I was already a disappointment. I tried to change it, but when I saw it was useless, I gave up.”

“Sounds brave.”

“I'm not brave, I'm impulsive. - he pulled Robb close and kissed him roughly, then grinned – Ninety-nine percent of my mistakes is because I act on feelings. Rationality is not my forte.”

“You're quite witty and sassy for someone irrational.”

“Ever heard of Franz Kafka?” he joked.

Robb's look was still lingering on Theon's lips, as the Stark boy burned in longing for another kiss.

“I am not sure I have changed my mind yet. - Theon admitted, a naughty note in his voice – Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer me to just blow you against a wall?”

“I still have one night to change your mind. - he looked at his clock – For another three hours, you are all mine, right?”

“I like how commanding you can get, shy boy.”

Theon grinned and started walking in front of Robb, letting him have a full view of his ass, for which Robb thanked not only god but also his mother for giving him life.

“Offer me a coffee! - he shouted, smirking – I'm in a mighty need of it.”

Robb smiled and shook his head, reaching Theon in a couple of tipsy steps, “Is it okay by car?”

“You really like to frustrate people by putting them into situation in which they will dream of getting fucked by you, don't you?”

“I beg your pardon?”

Theon scoffed, “Nothing, mister Stark.”

Robb smiled, a bit, “I'm sorry, I just thought maybe you wouldn't have entered in the car of a man you don't know, I mean.”

“Can't be worse than the time I had the awful idea of letting Ramsay in the changing room.”

“Then you... two...”

“No, no, it didn't... happen. - he gave a small twitch at the memory – But I was rarely so happy to see the boss interrupting without knocking.”

“I'm sorry.”

“It happens. - he puffed and his breath condensed slightly in a soft cloud – Where will you get me a coffee at this time, knight? Will you defeat the evil dragon of time shifts?”

“I'll bring you to the best coffee you’ve ever tasted, promise.”

And so it was.

They went to a small place, “The Onion”, famous mostly for its good quality burgers and salty treats, open at the most improbable times, since the owner was very much an insomniac and very, too, kind. Ironically enough, his boyfriend was Robb's ex math teacher in high school and he was genuinely terrified of him, until he saw him playing with the truly adorable daughter and the owner of The Onion on a Sunday afternoon. 

Davos, that was the name, made delicious coffee. He bought an Italian coffee machine and he was always extremely picky with ingredients.

Robb spent there, under his coffee, the most dramatic nights before the exams of his academic career.

“Robb! - Davos smiled, fatherly – The usual?”

“For me, yes. - he looked at Theon – And for you?”

“Ah, mh with milk and sugar.”

“May I tempt both of you with a sandwitch too?”

Theon was about to point out he didn't need it, when Robb turned to him with the eyes of a puppy who discovered he could get a present.

“Can I offer you something?”

“It's three am, I usually don't eat at these times nor... fried stuff. - he turned to Davos - No offence.”

“It's fine! - Robb granted – You are so skinny! I mean, no, like, you're perfect. A burger is not going to... ruin your shape or... anything and... - he was clearly so clumsy at this that Theon stopped being against it but hid a smile to see Robb try a bit harder, enjoying it, because it was simply too cute – And the food is really great here and... they have a really fantastic burger with grilled onions and tomatoes and... I... I think pickles but I don't remember right now because you... you are looking at me so... do I have something on my face?”

“Dorkiness.” Theon smirked.

“Uh?”

“I'll have the Eggs Benedict then.” he smiled sweetly.

It was five am when they finished eating and drinking and they didn't even notice time passed. They were just talking and talking, time flickering around them, morning lights glistering as dew fell.

They laughed and Robb learned there was nothing prettier than Theon's honest smile, of how he loved Star Wars, that he had a soft spot for country music but his real favourite thing in the whole universe was French literature. 

They talked about everything and Theon discovered there was something in Robb he couldn't have gave up too: a deeply-rooted kindness that brought him to always take care of others more than himself but hid a lonely and tender kid.

They shared a night of words and they both ended up with their hands one over the other's, searching for contact, pending on each other's lips and alternating comments and laughs to quick, intense kisses. 

Davos smiled in the background, cleaning the floor, thinking time really passed since the day, at fifteen, Robb came there crying because he had a crush on a boy.

“So... - Robb asked, raising his head and staring into Theon's grey eyes in awe – What about now?”

“Now... - Theon replied slowly, smiling – Now, I will go home and take a warm, warm bath.”

“Oh.”  
“And you should come to get me at seven pm.”

Robb couldn't stop a smile opening, wide, full and bright on his face, while Theon looked at him grinning proud, his face resting on the hand that threw Robb that full, red apple.

As red as the emotion he felt, raw, burning in his heart.

 


End file.
